It’s sometimes useful to feel useless. 

We live in a world where being called useless is perhaps one of the worst insults. I think I would rather be called smelly, fat, or maybe even dumb before useless. And for no small reason: we take pride in getting things done, maximizing our productivity, and working efficiently 

But while the world rewards us based on usefulness, God does not. 

This truth was recently brought home for me. During this Easter Octave, I got so sick I was barely able to get out of bed and into the chapel. After a “productive” Lent of extra prayers, fasts, and almsdeeds, I was now totally “useless.” When the community prayed the Divine Office, I could only silently follow along while my brothers chanted for me. And when we had meditation, the best I could do was sit in the chapel and hope Jesus would accept my mere presence when no interior prayer was really possible. 

Yet during such times, the Father is teaching us a very dear lesson. He is too good of a Father to let us go on thinking that it is by our own striving and accomplishments that we are holy or have value. Then, if perchance one day we fail to be so useful, we will feel that we have lost God’s love. 

Rather, our holiness comes from the simple fact that God has chosen to dwell in us “while we were yet sinners” (Rom 5:8). We live in that day of which Jesus spoke: “In that day you will know that I am in my Father, and you in me, and I in you” (John. 14:20). We become holy, for no other reason than the quite inexplicable fact that God has loved us first—before we have done anything. 

This is a hard truth to accept because we are accustomed to thinking the only things that have value are those for which we have worked. Yet it is also a beautiful truth. It means good works are not the price of God’s love. 

The challenge, then, is to be okay with being a beggar. And even to be useless at times. Being useless teaches us that we need not pay for God’s love and his presence in our souls.  We then grow accustomed to accepting something we don’t deserve and are better able to rejoice in receiving God’s free gift. 

Jesus, help me to know your love is not measured by the standard of my fickle usefulness. It is not me, but You in me which makes me holy.

✠

Image: Generated with AI ∙ May 15, 2024 at 9:05 AM