Many Christians dream of becoming a martyr. The word martyr comes from a Greek word meaning “to witness.” There is something quite attractive about offering one’s life as a witness to Jesus Christ through the shedding of blood. I often think of the example of St. Dominic, who “expressed the desire to be scourged, cut into pieces and to die for his faith in Christ” (Guy Bedouelle, Saint Dominic: The Grace of the Word, 97). The Church testifies to the sublimity of martyrdom by honoring the martyrs with nearly the highest honor among all the saints.

Yet most of us will not shed our blood and become martyrs. Our daily experience with martyrdom is often quite plain, and it is not entirely clear that it provides a real witness to anyone. Do our friends understand why we get up early to attend Mass? Do others understand that we avoid gossip not simply to be nice, but also out of Christian charity? When our witness is not understood, do we witness to Christ or just to our own peculiarity? Is it even a witness?

I experienced this conundrum while walking through Washington Square Park in New York City with a dozen or so Dominicans, our white habits gleaming in the sun. Even in the middle of  New York City, I think that we were the weirdest sight that most people in that park had seen in a while. I felt conflicted. While I was happy that we were walking reminders of the reality of God, I was seriously skeptical whether the sight of us led anyone to God. Can we be witnesses if we are misunderstood?

Seen in the light of the Cross, our martyrdom, our witness, is not about being understood or admired. Far from being cool, martyrdom is quite uncool. In fact, martyrdom essentially involves misunderstanding. Jesus himself was not understood, and those who witnessed his crucifixion saw him as a failure. Those around him mocked him, saying, “He saved others; he cannot save himself” (Matt. 27:42). They failed to understand that his weakness was not a failure but rather a witness to deeper divine strength. If they had understood this, “they would not have crucified the Lord of glory” (2 Cor. 2:8). This failure to be understood, then, is not a failure to witness. In fact, it is part of the witness itself.

Martyrdom, then, is not about being cool or about being understood. Rather, martyrdom is about identification with Christ, mocked, uncool, and misunderstood. Only then will we be able to provide a true witness to the power of Christ’s sacrifice on the Cross. Therefore, don’t worry too much about whether others can see Christ in you. Instead, embrace the Cross given to you, even if it is uncool, and take heart, for Christ carries it with you.

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Image: Fra Angelico, The Mocking of Christ (public domain)