Subliminal sexual messages seem to pervade all aspects of American culture. Our society obsesses about sex. In the tabloids and on newsstands, much is made about the struggles of integrating one’s sexuality into a healthy way of living. There is no doubt that ignorance and the promotion of sexual promiscuity have contributed to our current state of affairs, creating a world of sexual confusion and misguided hermeneutics. At the root of the problem is a decrease in living a virtuous life, specifically the virtue of chastity.
As people search for intimacy in their relationships with others, they tend to do so through sexual intimacy. Unfortunately, people often reduce intimacy to sex. This degradation of what it means to be intimate leaves one searching for true intimacy, an intimacy that can only be found with Christ, an intimacy to which we are all called.
If we don’t understand human sexuality in the way God intended, it should come as no surprise that we also have a misunderstanding of the virtue of chastity and the call to true intimacy with Christ. Often the misunderstanding of intimacy and chastity stems from erroneous definitions of these similar, but nonetheless different words. For instance, people frequently equate the word “chastity” with celibacy. However, the virtue of chastity is about exercising temperance in regard to our sexual desires, so it does not necessarily mean a permanent abstinence from sexual activity for those in married life, but rather a prudent direction of sexual activity to its twofold ends, conjugal union and procreation. And so chastity is applied differently depending on one’s state of life: single, married, consecrated religious, or the priesthood.
Similarly, intimacy implies a closeness in relation or friendship, but it does not always mean a closeness in a sexual relation. When we desire true intimacy, we are led to a higher good, specifically the good of God’s intimacy and love for us. Our exercise of the virtue of chastity in our human relationships leads us to develop not only authentic friendship, but also this true intimacy with Christ. The more we grow closer to Christ, the more we become like him. This is man’s natural end in life, to reach happiness through intimacy with Christ.
Unfortunately, the secular world has a misguided definition of what it means to be chaste and what it means to be a sexually integrated person, but living chastely is the only answer to developing true intimacy with Christ. Chastity can bring about great change and inner peace in our lives when lived well. We desire good things in life, and when we begin to acquire these goods, such as the good of chastity, we are led to the higher goods of true intimacy with Christ.
There are many practical things one can do to grow in chastity, such as abstaining from degrading media, refraining from sexual acts that do not have a natural procreative end, and avoiding occasions that could lead to a fall in chastity. However, all of these practical actions will only sustain our practice of virtue when we are truly rooted in the grace and love of God. Our recognition of God’s grace in our lives will open us up to having a relationship with him.
God has called you to intimacy with him! Strive to live chastely, and if you fall along the way, rely on God’s grace to help perfect this virtue in you and let him draw you closer to him. If you keep these things in mind and at the center of all your relationships with others, you will be well on your way to developing true intimacy and happiness with Christ.
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