Solitude. It is a word that is coming to define the 21st century, so says Derek Thompson in his recent article, “The Anti-Social Century.” Citing statistics from the American Time Use Survey conducted by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the article focuses on how Americans have, over the past several decades, gained more leisure time and have elected to spend more of that time alone. While to many the idea of more alone time sounds preferable to socializing, the article presents some troubling effects of this way of living, generating the moniker of “the anti-social century.” For we are not made to be alone nor are we destined to be alone.
As a religious brother living in community, I will readily say that some alone time is a good and necessary thing. Even good, wholesome social interaction can be draining, and we all need time to recharge. We even find evidence of this in the life of Jesus. There are several accounts of Jesus going away from the crowds to be alone. However, the lesson to be learned is not how to have “me time.” Jesus goes out to be alone to pray to the Father.
Still, many of us, when we are alone, look at a screen. According to Thompson, because of our technology, we never really unplug from the world. This leaves our social energy permanently flagging and never allows us to get recharged for new interactions. In other words, it’s not enough to be alone, and we need to be more conscious of what we do when we’re alone. We can pray, read a book, or work on a hobby that interests and refreshes us. If we can successfully unplug from social media and technology, we can have more energy to go out and be present to other people.
What is more troubling about the recent survey is that Americans are choosing to spend more time alone. But we are social creatures who are made for friendship. Thompson’s article cites data that those who socialized with someone, even begrudgingly, reported feeling better after the engagement. If we think we are destined to be lonely, or if our social life isn’t where we want it to be, it is important to remember there is a lot we can do to fix it. Friendships with other people are largely the result of our choices, so we can choose to cultivate and nourish friendships with others. If some of our friendships have withered, there is a lot we can do to attempt to reinvigorate them. We can call friends we haven’t spoken to in a while and catch up. If they live close by, we can invite them to dinner or invite them to go out somewhere. We can also make new friendships with colleagues or even our neighbors. This might seem like it is more trouble than it’s worth, but in a fragmented world filled with people made for human interaction, small gestures can go a long way.
Many of our choices lead us to a more solitary existence. This comes about from the convenience that technologies such as televisions and smartphones have afforded us. As a result, we spend more time alone but never fully unplug from the world. However, we have the power to make different choices that aim to balance our alone time, by using our alone time to recharge without technology and positively choose to live more socially again.
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Image: Edward Hopper, Automat
