“Our Father, heart in heaven, Halloween be thy name…” Maddy was participating fully in Sunday Mass. In the minivan afterwards, Leah tried to have a teaching moment with her daughter. “Maddy, let’s say the Our Father again.” “Okay,” Maddy said perkily, “Our Father, heart in heaven…” Mom interrupted, “Close! It’s ‘Our Father, who art in heaven.’” “Oh, I see.” Maddy was quiet for a moment. “What kind of art does God do in heaven?” Mom shook her head patiently, “No, Maddy, not that kind of art. It’s an old-fashioned way of saying ‘are.’ It’s like saying, ‘Our Father, you who are in heaven,’ like saying, ‘Hey, Dad, you who are in the driver’s seat.’ Why don’t you try it now?” Maddy was ready to go, “Our Father, who are in heaven, Halloween be thy name.” Leah let out a small sigh, “Maddy girl, it’s not “Halloween”, it’s ‘hallowed.’” Maddy’s face fell a little. “Oh…I love Halloween though. Remember my bat costume? I was a bat-princess.” The car made its way into the driveway. Adam put it in park and got out, “Alright, Maddy, time to get ready for some football.” With the help of Mom, the little angel got out howling and jumped on the couch, just in time for the Lions to play the Packers.
Leah let them go ahead, her maternal smile slowly fading. She made her way into the kitchen. “Hey, honey, would you make that queso dip like last Sunday? That was awesome.” Leah flashed him a sort of smile. “Alright, Adam. Hey, is Calvin Johnson going to have a big day today?” she said, trying her best to appear relevant to her husband’s hobby. “Haha. No, Leah, he’s been out for 6 weeks.” Face falling into a frown, she got to work, putting together the snack. After a few minutes she brought it to her husband of 4 years. “Thanks, Le…dang it! Come on, that was pass interference!”
She slipped out of the living room and made her way to the bedroom. Leah sat on their bed and wept. Thoughts came into her mind of college, where she and Adam had met. They first saw each other at a Theology on Tap event. Sitting with a couple of their friends, Leah and Adam were both inspired by the lofty language of the presenter, speaking on the Theology of the Body of Pope John Paul II. After quite some time discussing the talk, the others got up to leave, but Adam and Leah stayed for a few more hours, delighting in conversation over their drinks.
“I guess I’d bedder get backhome,” she giggled at her slow speech. “Haha, yeah I guess, it’s a little late.” Adam stood up and got her coat. “Mind if I walk you back?” “Okay…oops.” Leah stumbled a little as she got on her feet, and grabbed Adam’s arm. “I might need some help,” she giggled again. So the two new lovebirds made their way back to her dorm building. She gave him a polite hug and turned red, “Bye!” and she scuttled up the stairs.
After their first date, they began to see more of each other and, soon after graduation, got married. She got a job at a grade school, teaching religion, and he got a job at an engineering firm. About six months after their wedding, she came to him and kissed his cheek. “Hey, what’s going on, Leah?” He noticed the joy in her eyes. “Adam. Guess what?” “Umm…your school kids all have the measles and you get the week off. Am I right?” Leah shook her head, grinning from ear to ear. “Nope. Not even close.” “Umm…I’m terrible at this game. I give up. What’s so good?” She leaned her head into his. “We’re pregnant!” “What! oh my…” He grabbed her and they performed a strange post-mating ritual dance. “That’s so…oh my…”
The months transpired, and Leah began preparing herself for her role as a mother. She had come from a good family: moderate discipline, good means, reasonable expectations. The only thing that she wished had been stronger was formation in the faith. They had attended Mass most Sundays, and she had gone to Catholic school. But there was a certain conviction and fervor that were missing. She knew that she and her husband were committed to raising their new daughter as a beloved child of her Creator and His Church. Their daughter would be full of faith from the moment she could speak.
Beautiful Madeleine was born, baptized, and loved. Almost all of their college friends came to the baptism party. Leah decided to leave her job at the school after her first year. Adam was making plenty for the family, and she wanted to be there whole-heartedly for her daughter, and for future children.
Theo van Rysselberghe — Madame Theo van Rysselberghe and Her Daughter
“Hysterectomy.” The doctor wanted to deliver this news in the most comforting way possible. But Leah was screaming at him, “What…what…do I have to do?” Her panic increased as he uttered that awful, mechanical term. He tried to console her, but she was beyond relief. Leah grabbed her purse and ran out of the office. She could barely see, but made it home out of habit. Adam was sitting at the table. “My God! Leah, what happened?” She fell into his arms, wailing and beginning to hyperventilate. “Leah, relax. You’re okay. You’re okay…relax.”
“Ad…Ad…Adam. I can’t…” She began to hyperventilate again. “Relax,” he whispered into her ear, “I’m here.” After more weeping, she eventually informed him of her condition and the action that was necessary. His stomach dropped. But he knew he couldn’t let her get back into a panic. “I love you, Leah.” They sat down on the couch, and fell asleep.
A couple years passed after the surgery, and Leah was able to move on and focus on raising their daughter. They considered adopting, but not yet. Life went on as usual, ups and downs. Her relationship with Adam was alright, but they only really talked about practical things now. Gone were the elevated chats or Bible studies. Most of her time was consumed with Maddy.
∗ ∗ ∗
“Honey, wake up. Honey…” Adam was standing over her, fetal-like on the bed. “Mmmh? Oh, sorry, just taking a little nap I guess.” Maddy scampered into the room, “Mommy, why are you crying? Are you sad?” Leah rubbed her eyes and forced a smile, still groggy. “No, Maddy, don’t be silly. I just was a little tired. Did the Lions win?” “I dunno. Daddy, did they win?” Adam smiled. “No, it’s just halftime. Maddy, why don’t you run around in the backyard for a few minutes.” As she left, he sat down beside his wife. “Leah, what’s wrong?” She grabbed his hand. “Nothing, really. I just thought it was going to be different. Maddy still can’t say the ‘Our Father’ and I wish you would have helped. I made the queso dip and you don’t even make eye contact with me. And then I slip out and you didn’t even notice till halftime…What happened to what we planned?” She, of course, didn’t say any of this out loud. What she did say was, “Oh, nothing’s the matter. I just was tired is all. I have a bit of a headache.” Adam looked at her and said calmly, “Well, take a rest. I’ll get you some aspirin. I’ll make sure Maddy and I stay out of your way for the afternoon. Then we can order pizza for dinner. How’s that sound?” Leah sighed, turned up the corners of her mouth for the closest thing to a smile she could muster. “That sounds great, dear.” As she said that, he got her the aspirin, and began to watch the second half. Adam turned out the lights.
Leah resumed her rosary. The Holy Family’s example weighed on her. As she said the Hail Mary’s silently, she wondered how her young family could ever measure up to that one. “The second Joyful Mystery, the Visitation.” She paused as she began to recall the account of the family of Elizabeth, Zechariah, and John the Baptist. The barren womb of Elizabeth, the divinely inspired comedy of Zechariah’s encounter with the angel. “Maybe she was glad when he couldn’t talk for all that time,” she teased her husband in her mind. And the kid they raised! He was a wild man, didn’t even go to college.
Thinking back to her surgery, she felt bad about blaming Adam for never bringing it up. “It’s probably just as difficult for him to talk about as it is for me.” And why was she putting so much pressure on herself for being the perfect religion teacher for Maddy? As she thought back to the car ride, maybe she should have been learning herself. “What kind of art does God do in heaven and on earth?”
Leah managed a real smile in the dark, a muted laugh through the tears. Her family probably wasn’t going to win the parish family of the year. “Who cares? There’s no shame in having an imperfect family.” As the beads passed through her fingers, she said to herself, “Well, we can at least be like the cousins of the Holy Family.”
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Dominicana Journal, Summer 2015, Vol LVIII, No. 1, CLICK HERE.
